So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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