Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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