I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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