I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
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I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
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You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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