I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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