Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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