1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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