I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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