i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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