Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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