My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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