i just had sex bonerless
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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