You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
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i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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