i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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