I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
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You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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