I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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