Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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