Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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