i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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