sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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