im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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