New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize