the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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