singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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