are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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