he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize