so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
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I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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