i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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