I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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