Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize