I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize