sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize