flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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