ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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