you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize