I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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