I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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