I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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