i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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