The maid of honor just puked.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize