He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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