do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize