for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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