marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize