don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize