Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize