quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I look better un-naked...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize