I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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