so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize