What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize